Wedding Wednesday: The Ring

Like I mentioned in the first post, I’ve been known to daydream about getting engaged for years and years and years.  I probably picked out my own engagement ring 10 times in my younger years and would email, text or just print out pictures and give to Justin.  I’ve never been great at low key.  After experiencing self-inflicted disappointment over and over and over, I finally quit doing it to myself.  I quit looking at rings, browsing Style Me Pretty and deleted my “One Day” Pinterest board. 

I wanted Justin to be 100% confident in his proposal and it to be his special time to plan and choose a ring that he wanted to give me.  It doesn’t hurt that his sense of style is on point and he has really great taste, so I completely trusted his choice and opinion.  To say he knocked it out of the park is an understatement. 

He has a trusted friend in the jewelry business, John Hancock of Hancock’s Jeweler in Hendersonville, TN.  Justin wants to know every detail and become an expert in every buying experience and ring shopping was no different.  Justin really appreciated John’s knowledge and willingness to share his candid opinion.  He chose a round diamond with a split shank double halo setting.  Justin wanted the sparkiest, clearest stone available (he’s super detail oriented!) .  I’m not sure that these pictures do it justice, it’s simply perfect!

Note-if your partner does not share your sense of style or wants your input, by all means participate!  This hands off approach in ring shopping is what worked best for us, but it’s a very personal decision that only you and your hunny can make.  I’ve know girls who bought their own ring, girls who go shopping together with their partner and girls who recruit their girlfriends to help their future husbands.  There’s no right or wrong way to do it.

Wedding Wednesday: Our Engagement Story

Dec 23, 2018 we planned to travel to Justin’s parent’s home in Paris, TN to get our family Christmas festivities kicked off.  Now I’m a girl who loves a plan and finds solace in having a plan and executing it, but JK is the opposite.  He called mid-afternoon and wanted to move our departure to Christmas Eve morning.  Immediately I start questioning, “isn’t that rude if your parent’s are expecting us?!?”  He assured me it was fine and we could exchange gifts before leaving to save room in the car. 

Christmas Eve we woke up early and as usual, I was so excited for him to open the gifts I had wrapped.  He loves waffles, but has a gluten intolerance BUT I found a GF mix at Williams Sonama and wrapped it up with a waffle maker.  I also scored Justin Timberlake tickets and tucked them in JT’s new book.  Since we are going to Orange Theory together, I snagged a new pair of Nikes he would love.  Justin wrapped a jean jacket I’ve been eyeing from Able and a new pair of FRYE boots.

After exchanging gifts, Justin said, “I do have one more small gift for you!”  He slowly opened a drawer on the TV console table, and pulled out a small box.  I was sitting on the sofa next to the table and said, “Is this really happening?!?”  He got down on one knee, said the sweetest, most loving things I always dreamed of hearing, thanked me for waiting for him to be ready for marriage, and asked me to marry him.  The morning sun was shining through the window and illuminating him in the most special way, I will never forget the way he looked in that moment.  It immediately hit me, unlike the ladies on the Bachelor, I don’t have a speech prepared!  So I went with a simple, yes.  

After hugging and kissing and crying I couldn’t wait to FaceTime my parents and my sweet sister.  They were so excited and happy for us and could not have been more supportive and kind.  We packed up the car and hit the road to Paris to celebrate with his family and kick off the holiday season. 

Becoming Julie Kinsland

I’ve been ready to marry to Justin since I was 21.  We met in college and the first time I thought he may propose was our senior year at my sorority spring formal.  Disclaimer: By “I thought” I mean the first time my imagination took off with the idea of love = proposal + marriage.  It was not inspired by any serious conversations we had as a couple, it was all created in my fairy tale inspired imagination. 

Beach Trip August 2006

Fast forward to Christmas Eve 2018, I’m 33, still completely in love and ready to get married and he popped the question!  The bliss and happiness that followed for the following week was intoxicating.  Finally being on the same page and beginning our happily ever after sparked things I’ve never felt before, our relationship immediately felt different, more validated, secure and intertwined. 

Christmas Day 2018

In early January Justin’s great uncle passed away and we traveled to North Carolina for the funeral and during the road trip it hit me – I have to get buried with HIS family now.  I know the rational part of your brain – and mine too now that I’ve processed it – this may sound insane to care about, but it was the trigger to make me realize drastic changes are coming and sacrifices will be made. 

Now before you get on your soap box saying, “Julie, marriage is about more than a ring or a certificate, if you were ready for marriage you would know that and would have processed these emotions already!”  I know girl, I know.  Here’s the deal, the evolved part of my brain has known I want to be married to Justin and build a life together, but the other half of my brain took over and was immediately filling my body with anxiety about the impending changes.   I have to give up my condo and space that’s just mine, I have to give up my last name, is that the same as giving up my identity?  Am I giving up my independence?  My privacy?   Is wearing this ring a sign of ownership?   I won’t be buried next to my mom + dad?  These thoughts are childish and selfish, but emotions I had to process none the less.  Obviously I’m gaining so much more than I’m sacrificing, but there was still a little mourning process. 

After giving myself a couple days to feel all the feelings and google to find other people experiencing these feelings I knew the way back to the path to joy…jump in head first.  I’m a big advocate for doing it scared.  Starting towards the outcome you dream of without all the details worked out is usually my go-to.  I’m scared of changing my name, so rip the Band-Aid off and start a blog with my new name.  Of course I won’t legally change it until after I Do, but I can start getting used to the new name by sharing wedding planning details, life updates and my favorite things on this blog. 

Also, I ordered this book, Emotionally Engaged: A Bride's Guide to Surviving the Happiest Time of Her Life.

Everyone posts their highlight reel to social media, me included, but there’s so much more to the story than the highlight reel.  Life changes are messy, but a beautiful mess.  I can’t wait to get back to documenting my life through blogging and sharing it with you.  I share so you know you aren’t alone in hard times and I share so you can celebrate the good times with me.  I'm so thankful when I can find blogs sharing specific feelings I'm experiencing and connecting with women through sharing our "not-instal-worthy" moments.  Thank you for reading along and welcome to the launch of juliekinsland.com.

Don't worry, this blog won't only be about my emotions + wedding planning!  It will also be about my family, life in Nashville, and my business, Give Her Six.

I had a blog, Sweet Home Nashville, years ago and plan to eventually move the content over, but added the link in case you want a peak at old school Julie.